It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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