She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
