I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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