We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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