You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
