don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Randomize
