We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
