Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
