my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
