New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
whose parrot is this?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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