Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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