Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
