I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
