i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize