Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
