I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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