Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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