i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
