gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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