yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
