This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
