I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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