My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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