His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
