"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
