tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
