what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
