uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Randomize
