you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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