For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
