so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize