VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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