Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I just found puke in my bra..
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize
