you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
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