Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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