Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
