lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
