you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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