Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
