I wish my penis had an off switch
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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