We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Rumble strips road head = magical
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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