I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
ugly people sure do ruin things
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
