why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
