I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
