That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
of course. lets lasso hookers.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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