no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
