We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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