we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
