I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
