with your own penis?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Did I show you my penis last night?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
