So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
